Ruby

So, I'm under house arrest. I've been completely overdoing it in my 'blooming' state, have pulled a ligament resulting in difficulty in walking, and am now enduring enforced relaxation. I know that sounds not so bad but it's pretty painful and all of my hormones are screaming "sort your life out - work, finances, house and diy" and what is actually practical is lying down. It's very frustrating. So laptop on my knee and all the murder she wrote I can handle.

No strange cravings to report but an addiction to baking, so much so that Sheil has bought me Nigella's domestic goddess book, which I'm working my way through. Carrot cake muffins and coffee walnut drop biscuits all round.

It's been a busy few weeks with Sheffield doc fest, London film fest and a flying visit to the BBC on Wednesday. Doc fest was pretty good. A weird mix of disillusioning panels with the commisoners and controllers from 1,2,3,4,5 and further explaining what they are looking for - "eyeballs for ads" and some amazing docs. I was getting so depressed listening to the panels and watching the gladitorial open Sheffield Pitch - 12 film makers have 5 mins to pitch their idea with the carrot of a �30,000 commission dangling. The crowd and panel were ruthless. So I decided to just go watch films and it was so much better and inspiring. Highlights included Marc Isaac's Calais, Rude Girls for BBC, Jorgan Leth and Lars Von Trier The Five Obstructions, Capturing the Friedmans and The Other Final.

Much of the last six months has been spent researching and writing an application to the Arts Council to tour nationally Home-Maker Japan and Uk, side by side as a two room installation. This has been a mammouth undertaking, 7500 word application aside, the research involved connecting with different venues and galleries outside of the region has been very difficult. In my initial contacts most venues would not speak to me as I was an individual. Although I have made and shown work in 15 countries this year, it's UK galleries that count for Uk reputation. Broadway have stepped in and assisted with this (at my request) by acting as an introduction partner. This has had more positive results, fruitful meetings and if the funding goes ahead (I'll know in January) a 5 date tour around the country, web site, streamed live events and a publication. I'm keeping everything crossed and hope that all of the research pays off.

Another long term plan is starting to take shape. After 6 months development with Debbie Ballin at Intermedia I have started initial research filming on a new interactive documentary project. My last gallivant out for a while also involved meeting someone at the BBC to discuss the project as a doc commision. Again watch this space. It feels strange to be planning so far ahead - this would come to fruition in 2005, but reassuring that I may have exciting projects to come back to after having the baby.

Tv moment of the week has to Queer eye for the straight guy on Living TV. Carson, fashion queer makes Trinny and Susannah look like a couple of nuns. Fashion faux pas of the week, Xtina hosting the VMA's on MTV. Like pocket Cher who got dressed in the dark.

Almost forgot, we saw Bill Viola at the National Gallery. It's a new show from the american video artist that talks slower than a 2cv with a flat tyre. It's a real mix of mesmerising, still, extra slow mo reflections, water and fire. really stunning emotional work that is genuinely moving. The rest of the show is horrible 'inside the actors studio' style slow motion mime with extras from gap adverts. Really awful. It's just too polished, too styled and feels very distant for the audience. His earlier, rougher large scale video work in much more moving - The Messenger and The Nantes Tryptich.